It's the plight of just about every career woman I know - you just can't have it all. Of the women I know in academia and science, many are single (by choice or chance, I don't always know) or childless (again, not sure if it's by choice or chance). I can't speak for them, but I know that, as a woman considering a career in the academic realm, I struggle with balancing my career goals with having a life outside academia.
Here's the painful truth: I will be 30 before I finish my PhD. Before I can consider applying for a university position, I have to do 1-2 years of post-doc. If I can get an academic job by some stroke of luck, I have another 5-7 years to wait before I can apply for tenure. So, if I'm really lucky, I may get tenure before I'm 40.
Here's the painful biological truth: My fertility is already slowly declining, and it will only get worse the further past 30 I get. By the time I'm 40, I would be really lucky to conceive without reproductive assistance. If I have undiagnosed fertility problems, I might have problems conceiving even if I tried today.
I'm still not sure if I even want kids. Looking at the facts, though, I've realized that it's something I really need to think about right now. Especially since my doctor makes sure to remind me that my fertility will plummet when I hit 30 every time I see her (well, maybe she doesn't say that, but it's sure what I hear!).
Any way I look at it, there is just no easy answer.
None of this even covers the question of who exactly I'll be having these imaginary children with, but I think I'll save that discussion for another day.
Ok girl, that was totally depressing - You can have it all, you just need to get your ass out of Canada :o) Life will happen when you get back here and you don't need to wait until everything is "settled" before you have children.....if you want them - they just happen! Trust me the come along when you least expect it! I love you girl and can't wait to see you at Christmas! Misty
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is mostly in my head. I'm still undecided on the whole kids issue, but I feel like I need to decided NOW or I'm going to run out of time. I just never saw myself still in school, unmarried, and staring down 30. Oh, and I'll be home sooner than Christmas! I'm back for a visit October 7-11.
ReplyDeleteSweet! Just looked at the calender and we have nothing for that weekend.....we will have to go to the bar for a night....it might have to be Coral, but it's a bar :o)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see you!