I am finally getting around to writing up Baby N's birth story, which is going to be a two-parter. She is only 4 weeks old now, so I figure I'm doing pretty well considering I have edited my dissertation and finished my PhD, published a paper, and learned how to be a mom, including exclusively breastfeeding, in that time.
My birth story starts shortly after my last post was published. After I found out that the baby was breech, I was fully prepared to do everything I could to turn baby so that I could have a vaginal delivery. I tried handstands in the water, breech tilts, chiropractic care, moxibustion, and even had a consult with an OB about external cephalic version (ECV) to manually turn the baby. None of the 'non-invasive' techniques did a thing, and the OB didn't think I was a good candidate for the ECV because my baby was relatively large (as per ultrasound) and my uterus is apparently very muscular. (Seriously, every medical person that touched my stomach commented on my strong uterus!) The OB was still willing to try an ECV, but by the time we got that figured out, I was showing signs of pregnancy induced hypertension. My blood pressure got progressively worse over the course of my 36th week of pregnancy, and I ended up in the hospital for monitoring for my hypertension the day I hit 37 weeks.
My general practitioner was the one that finally sent me to the hospital since I was going to her office almost every day at that point to monitor my blood pressure. She was such a great doctor over the course of my pregnancy, and she recommended that I stick with the on-call OB-GYN at the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy if possible. I later found out that that OB-GYN is actually my general practitioner's doctor, and she ended up being a fantastic doctor also.
Anyway, by the time I was admitted to the hospital, I had decided against even trying the ECV because of the position of my placenta and the high blood pressure. It was just too risky considering the fact that it probably wasn't going to work anyway. While there are a few doctors here who will attempt a vaginal breech delivery, I wasn't really comfortable with that for a number of reasons. So, by the time I saw the OB, a scheduled c-section was pretty much the only viable option for me. Since I had already reached 37 weeks, the OB actually offered to do the CS that day. I asked if we could wait 2 weeks so that I could finish my defense and so that my mom could re-arrange her travel plans to be here for the surgery and my first week of recovery. The OB was fantastic and accommodating and scheduled my CS after my defense. Ideally, it would have been the next day, but since my defense was on a Friday before a holiday weekend, we had to schedule for the same afternoon as my defense to avoid having to wait until the following Tuesday. As it was, they scheduled the surgery for a Friday afternoon, which, under normal circumstances, would not be done.
Obviously, the baby was still doing fine even though my blood pressure wasn't so hot. Otherwise, we would have been headed for a CS right away. The OB discharged me from the hospital with a prescription for anti-hypertensive medication and orders to monitor my own blood pressure regularly. I wish I could say that the next two weeks went well, but the truth of the matter is that we were basically managing a deteriorating situation in hopes that I could make it through my defense before the CS was an absolute necessity. My blood pressure didn't respond well to the medication, and we had to keep increasing the dosage to keep me in a mild hypertensive state. I had multiple appointments and an additional ultrasound to make sure that baby was still healthy. I also got admitted to the hospital a second time for hypertension after my pre-op assessment for the CS. All in all, E and I spent many, many hours at appointments and in the hospital, but it was all necessary to make sure that baby and were healthy. Thankfully, my hypertension never developed into anything worse (i.e. pre-eclampsia), the baby showed no signs of stress from my hypertension, and I never showed any signs of going into labor spontaneously, which would have meant an emergency CS.
E and I picked my mom up from the airport the day before my defense and CS. When she made it here, I finally let myself believe that things really were going to work out. I went to bed that night confident that I wasn't going to go into labor, I would finish my defense, and then we would head to the hospital for a low-stress, uncomplicated, scheduled CS. Funny story about the night before surgery, though. They gave me these anti-bacterial surgical wipes that I had to scrub my whole body down with to kill any germies that were living on my skin. The nurse did not mention that it wasn't a good idea to shave your legs before you used those things. Oh. My. Goodness. The burning. The itching. It's not like I was going to sleep well no matter what, but the surgery wipes didn't help matters at all!
My defense went as well as those type of things can. I passed, but I guess it's pretty much a given that you are going to pass once your committee okays your dissertation for defense. It was probably better for me than most people, since all of my committee knew I was going in for a medically-indicated CS that afternoon, and I don't think any of them wanted to be responsible for me stroking out if my blood pressure went too high. The defense actually finished relatively early, and left me with over an hour and half until I had to be at the hospital, which is about 12 seconds away from the Tox Centre. That would have been nice if I'd had anything to do, but I couldn't eat or drink since I was going in for surgery! So, we basically all hung around at Tox until just before 1PM, at which point E, my mom, and I headed for the hospital to check in.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Good news, bad news, uncertainty and childbirth
I feel like I've gotten lost on my journey to motherhood, and I'm trying desperately to figure things out right now. Let me back up a little.
Even though I did all the right things to finish my PhD 2-3 weeks before this baby's due date, circumstances outside of my control (graduate studies and uncooperative committee members, I'm looking at you!) led to a lot of stress and a defense date of October 5th. That's about a week before my due date, and well into the danger zone as far as there being a decent chance I will go into labor before the defense. Even though this obviously isn't an optimal situation, I wasn't honestly too worried about going into labor before 39 weeks because neither my mom nor my sister went early with their first baby (in fact, my sister just went 40+1 with her second, but more on that later). In fact, the average first baby is 8 days overdue. The odds were on my side. Until Friday.
Let me preface this by saying that only two of my close family members that have given birth in past 25 years have had anything other than normal vaginal deliveries. One was a very serious medical situation that had nothing to do with the baby, the other was an emergency c-section for fetal distress during established labor that was related to issues with the cord. I thought that, for once, genetics were on my side. Overall, we are good birthers and breastfeeders. So, I've been planning a natural vaginal childbirth with a midwife for my whole pregnancy, and I had recently made the final decision to try a homebirth since my pregnancy had been so normal. I hired a doula for support. I read all the natural childbirth books. I should have known the other shoe was about to drop.
My general practitioner sent me for a ultrasound last week 'just to make sure' that the baby was in a vertex position. My midwife would not have sent me because she was confident the baby was vertex. Unfortunately, the ultrasound revealed a baby in the frank breech presentation. Less than 4% of babies are breech at 36 weeks of gestation, and very few of these (less than 10%) will turn head down on their own. I am definitely on the wrong side of the statistical equation for my natural, vaginal childbirth at this point.
I won't get into all the techniques I have been subjecting myself to since finding out the baby was breech on Friday. I will say that none of them has moved the baby even one inch from what I can tell. I haven't seen the doctor or midwife yet, so I don't even know what their recommendations are going to be. I have done a ton of internet research (I know, I know. Bad idea.) that seems to point towards OBs liking to schedule elective c-sections for breech babies right around 39 weeks. So, in addition to my dreams of a natural childbirth going up in smoke, I would be having an unwanted surgery while I am supposed to be defending my PhD.
I am just so disappointed and angry. Frankly, it pisses me off that no one except my midwife and doula seem to understand why I am upset. Sure, I realize that 30% of women end up with a c-section for whatever reason, but that doesn't make it suck any less when you are almost 4 weeks from your due date and already looking at having no option other than surgery to deliver your baby. Having a c-section also obviously affects future births too - not all OBs are supportive of VBACs. I feel so powerless (and also selfish since everyone just keeps saying how a healthy baby is the most important thing which makes me feel like crap for even worrying about wanting to avoid the c-section at all costs).
In the midst of my downward spiral into breech depression, I got the call last night that I am an auntie for the second time to a brand new niece. I am, of course, beyond happy for my sister and her fiance...but there is a little part of me that is jealous that she got to have a second childbirth that was the birth of her choice. I wish we could all have that, no matter what choices we may make.
Even though I did all the right things to finish my PhD 2-3 weeks before this baby's due date, circumstances outside of my control (graduate studies and uncooperative committee members, I'm looking at you!) led to a lot of stress and a defense date of October 5th. That's about a week before my due date, and well into the danger zone as far as there being a decent chance I will go into labor before the defense. Even though this obviously isn't an optimal situation, I wasn't honestly too worried about going into labor before 39 weeks because neither my mom nor my sister went early with their first baby (in fact, my sister just went 40+1 with her second, but more on that later). In fact, the average first baby is 8 days overdue. The odds were on my side. Until Friday.
Let me preface this by saying that only two of my close family members that have given birth in past 25 years have had anything other than normal vaginal deliveries. One was a very serious medical situation that had nothing to do with the baby, the other was an emergency c-section for fetal distress during established labor that was related to issues with the cord. I thought that, for once, genetics were on my side. Overall, we are good birthers and breastfeeders. So, I've been planning a natural vaginal childbirth with a midwife for my whole pregnancy, and I had recently made the final decision to try a homebirth since my pregnancy had been so normal. I hired a doula for support. I read all the natural childbirth books. I should have known the other shoe was about to drop.
My general practitioner sent me for a ultrasound last week 'just to make sure' that the baby was in a vertex position. My midwife would not have sent me because she was confident the baby was vertex. Unfortunately, the ultrasound revealed a baby in the frank breech presentation. Less than 4% of babies are breech at 36 weeks of gestation, and very few of these (less than 10%) will turn head down on their own. I am definitely on the wrong side of the statistical equation for my natural, vaginal childbirth at this point.
I won't get into all the techniques I have been subjecting myself to since finding out the baby was breech on Friday. I will say that none of them has moved the baby even one inch from what I can tell. I haven't seen the doctor or midwife yet, so I don't even know what their recommendations are going to be. I have done a ton of internet research (I know, I know. Bad idea.) that seems to point towards OBs liking to schedule elective c-sections for breech babies right around 39 weeks. So, in addition to my dreams of a natural childbirth going up in smoke, I would be having an unwanted surgery while I am supposed to be defending my PhD.
I am just so disappointed and angry. Frankly, it pisses me off that no one except my midwife and doula seem to understand why I am upset. Sure, I realize that 30% of women end up with a c-section for whatever reason, but that doesn't make it suck any less when you are almost 4 weeks from your due date and already looking at having no option other than surgery to deliver your baby. Having a c-section also obviously affects future births too - not all OBs are supportive of VBACs. I feel so powerless (and also selfish since everyone just keeps saying how a healthy baby is the most important thing which makes me feel like crap for even worrying about wanting to avoid the c-section at all costs).
In the midst of my downward spiral into breech depression, I got the call last night that I am an auntie for the second time to a brand new niece. I am, of course, beyond happy for my sister and her fiance...but there is a little part of me that is jealous that she got to have a second childbirth that was the birth of her choice. I wish we could all have that, no matter what choices we may make.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Still not a doctor...
...but I am one GIANT step closer. I finished my dissertation this week and sent it off to my advisory committee. After my committee looks it over, I still have to make their revisions and send it off to graduate studies so that they can choose an external examiner for my defense, but these things all happen on a finite time scale. So, if everything goes smoothly, I should be defending my PhD before the end of September! (I have every reason to think that things will go as smoothly as possible, because my committee chair and my supervisors have really great at moving things along since I got pregnant. Go figure.)
Speaking of the pregnancy, I'm 31 weeks today. In a way, I can't believe that I am already 31 weeks pregnant. On the other hand, I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER and I STILL have 9 weeks before my due date. Plus, since first pregnancies average around 41 weeks 1 day, and I was 3 weeks overdue when I made my grand entrance, I am not expecting this baby to show up right on time anyway. Regardless, everything is going well so far. Baby is even already in the correct position to be born (head down, facing backwards), although he/she still has enough room to flip around in there for at least a few more weeks.
We are actually getting to the point in the pregnancy where we need to start planning for the birth and getting the house ready for baby. I am in a midwifery program run by the province, so I have the option to have either a home or a hospital birth with my midwife. As of right now, we are planning to stay at home unless there is a reason to be at the hospital. I originally thought that I wanted to have only E as my birth partner, but I have been feeling a little apprehensive in the past couple of weeks about neither of us knowing what to do or expect, especially during early labor when the midwives will not be there. A doula is starting to seem like a really good idea to me, so I am currently looking for one who is a good fit for us.
We have been trying to keep the baby junk to a minimum since we will be moving when baby is about 10 weeks old. Even so, we have a whole pile of stuff, and we don't even have two of the most important things yet (a carseat and a place for baby to sleep). I guess part of the issue is that I am set on cloth diapering, so we have loads of diapers in addition to all the clothes, the bouncy seat, the bath, the towels and blankets, the nursing pillow, etc.
Speaking of the pregnancy, I'm 31 weeks today. In a way, I can't believe that I am already 31 weeks pregnant. On the other hand, I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER and I STILL have 9 weeks before my due date. Plus, since first pregnancies average around 41 weeks 1 day, and I was 3 weeks overdue when I made my grand entrance, I am not expecting this baby to show up right on time anyway. Regardless, everything is going well so far. Baby is even already in the correct position to be born (head down, facing backwards), although he/she still has enough room to flip around in there for at least a few more weeks.
We are actually getting to the point in the pregnancy where we need to start planning for the birth and getting the house ready for baby. I am in a midwifery program run by the province, so I have the option to have either a home or a hospital birth with my midwife. As of right now, we are planning to stay at home unless there is a reason to be at the hospital. I originally thought that I wanted to have only E as my birth partner, but I have been feeling a little apprehensive in the past couple of weeks about neither of us knowing what to do or expect, especially during early labor when the midwives will not be there. A doula is starting to seem like a really good idea to me, so I am currently looking for one who is a good fit for us.
We have been trying to keep the baby junk to a minimum since we will be moving when baby is about 10 weeks old. Even so, we have a whole pile of stuff, and we don't even have two of the most important things yet (a carseat and a place for baby to sleep). I guess part of the issue is that I am set on cloth diapering, so we have loads of diapers in addition to all the clothes, the bouncy seat, the bath, the towels and blankets, the nursing pillow, etc.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Why I haven't been around lately
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| 19 weeks |
I think the picture is pretty self-explanatory, but just so there is no confusion, E and I are expecting our first baby in October. Everything is going well so far, but I was pretty sick for all of the first trimester, and we waited to share our news until some time after that (even Grandma T didn't know until 14 weeks!). So, I've been wanting to blog, but I really had nothing to talk about since I was not really doing anything because I was sick and couldn't tell anyone what was going on. Initially, we weren't going to share with friends here until I started showing, but after 17 weeks with no sign external signs of baby, we let everyone know I was pregnant. I'm actually still waiting for a bump at 19 weeks. I am starting to get chubby but definitely don't look pregnant yet.
E and I actually just went for our fetal anatomy ultrasound yesterday. Since I didn't have a scan during the first trimester (I declined a dating scan because it was not necessary.), this is the only one we'll get, barring complications later in pregnancy. I decided very early in my pregnancy that I wasn't interested in finding out the baby's sex, but E thought it would be cool to know. Like he was going to shop for baby clothes or something? Ha. I had finally convinced him that I really didn't want to know, so we weren't going to find out, and it ended up that the ultrasound tech couldn't tell anyway due to baby's position. That, in combination with the fact that the baby just laid there sleeping while the tech smooshed it with the wand, has led me to conclude that this baby is going to be laid-back and already knows that it should cooperate with mom. Smart kid.
Unfortunately, I feel like I'm not going to have much time to update my blog in the near future either. I want to finish my PhD before the baby is born, so I have been working a lot of hours so I can wrap things up in the next couple of months (don't worry, sitting at a computer writing isn't that strenuous!). Since we've obviously heard the baby's heartbeat and had our ultrasound already, I feel like there isn't going to be a whole lot to share in the baby department anyway. The baby department and the work department are just about all I have going on right now, so I wouldn't want to bore the three of you with my stories anyway ;)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Hips Don't Lie
My hips (and low back) are making me feel much older than my 30 years this week! In the past, I have had problems with my left IT band/knee. My physical therapist told me it's because my left femur does not sit in the hip socket the correct way, which leads to imbalance, overcompensation, strain, and pain. After PT and working with the foam roller, I finally got the left IT band mostly straightened out late last summer. Early in January, I strained something in my previously uninjured right hip while doing yoga. After this past week, my whole pelvic area, including my low back and upper legs, has been giving me fits. It never ends!
Let me back up. This has been a busy week for me. I spent last weekend at a resort in Northern Saskatchewan with 20 other grad students from the Tox Centre. We have done a retreat for the past couple of years where we rent cottages and hang out up north together for a few days. It was a great time, and there was enough snow and good enough weather to get out x-country skiing while we were there. E and I always have fun when we ski with just the two of us, but there was something extra special about heading out with a group of 10 other people. It could have been the fact that, for once, I was not the worst, chickeniest skier there. Anyway, I think the past couple of weeks of skiing have contributed to my tight, achy hips for sure.
Monday marked the start of E and his training partner S's Half Ironman training. I have been swimming with them regularly, and I decided to add in an early morning run with them too, since it's nice to have buddies to go to the gym with. So, we swam twice and ran once on my already sore hips this week.
While I was training for my marathon last year, I would medicate the crap out of myself with ibuprofen/acetaminophen both during and after long runs to avoid muscle and joint pain. After the marathon, I decided that was not a good strategy for dealing with aches and pains, so I have been trying to limit the number of painkillers I take. I'm sure my liver and kidneys thank me, but let me tell you, the heating pad is NO substitute for 800 mg of ibuprofen.
I'm still trying to find a balance here, and my hips are letting me know that I'm not there yet.
Let me back up. This has been a busy week for me. I spent last weekend at a resort in Northern Saskatchewan with 20 other grad students from the Tox Centre. We have done a retreat for the past couple of years where we rent cottages and hang out up north together for a few days. It was a great time, and there was enough snow and good enough weather to get out x-country skiing while we were there. E and I always have fun when we ski with just the two of us, but there was something extra special about heading out with a group of 10 other people. It could have been the fact that, for once, I was not the worst, chickeniest skier there. Anyway, I think the past couple of weeks of skiing have contributed to my tight, achy hips for sure.
Monday marked the start of E and his training partner S's Half Ironman training. I have been swimming with them regularly, and I decided to add in an early morning run with them too, since it's nice to have buddies to go to the gym with. So, we swam twice and ran once on my already sore hips this week.
While I was training for my marathon last year, I would medicate the crap out of myself with ibuprofen/acetaminophen both during and after long runs to avoid muscle and joint pain. After the marathon, I decided that was not a good strategy for dealing with aches and pains, so I have been trying to limit the number of painkillers I take. I'm sure my liver and kidneys thank me, but let me tell you, the heating pad is NO substitute for 800 mg of ibuprofen.
I'm still trying to find a balance here, and my hips are letting me know that I'm not there yet.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Recovery from the Weekend
I did everything I planned this weekend, and more. After a low key Friday night, E and I started out Saturday morning with volleyball practice. The Tox grad students have had a team for the past few years, but I never played until now because the team was way more competitive than I could handle. Well, we finally had enough people that wanted to play in the less competitive league this year, so I joined in. It's been years since I have played volleyball, so I ended up with giant bruises on my arms after the practice that kept me from playing in the game on Sunday night :( The team won though :)
I finally got out x-country skiing on Saturday afternoon. I met my friend S at a golf course where the local ski club sets track, and we did about 2.5 km before deciding that we had had enough of the -25C windchill blowing across the wide open course. The short distance was fine with me because I really only wanted to make sure that my skis and boots were in good working order so that I could head up north to ski on Sunday. It's always nice to see S too!
E and I went to Little Red River park in Prince Albert to x-country ski on Sunday. I've posted about Little Red here before, so I won't blather on about how awesome it is again. We managed about 16 km (10 miles) over the course of 4 hours before we decided to call it a day. Conditions were just okay (could have used a little more snow that was a little less powdery), but what a wonderful way to spend the day.
I was so tired after the weekend that a good night's sleep, which I definitely got on Sunday, wasn't enough for me to feel recovered. I ended up going to bed early again last night, and I finally feel better today. I really wish I were one of those people who could function on 5 hours of sleep sometimes, but I definitely am not!
I finally got out x-country skiing on Saturday afternoon. I met my friend S at a golf course where the local ski club sets track, and we did about 2.5 km before deciding that we had had enough of the -25C windchill blowing across the wide open course. The short distance was fine with me because I really only wanted to make sure that my skis and boots were in good working order so that I could head up north to ski on Sunday. It's always nice to see S too!
E and I went to Little Red River park in Prince Albert to x-country ski on Sunday. I've posted about Little Red here before, so I won't blather on about how awesome it is again. We managed about 16 km (10 miles) over the course of 4 hours before we decided to call it a day. Conditions were just okay (could have used a little more snow that was a little less powdery), but what a wonderful way to spend the day.
I was so tired after the weekend that a good night's sleep, which I definitely got on Sunday, wasn't enough for me to feel recovered. I ended up going to bed early again last night, and I finally feel better today. I really wish I were one of those people who could function on 5 hours of sleep sometimes, but I definitely am not!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Deep Freeze
The weather here in Saskatoon has been fabulous, with the exception of one below-average week in November, all fall and winter. I tried not to let it lull me into a false sense of security, but it's pretty hard to remember what a -40C windchill feels like when it's consistently above 0C in January. January people! Well, as is probably evident from the title of this post, the bottom fell out over the weekend, and we are now dealing with ambient lows in the -35C range and windchills of as little as -48C. This is just a special kind of cold that I'm pretty sure you can't understand without experiencing it.
Locally, the 'deep freeze' is actually a term commonly used to describe the type of weather we are currently having. The freezers that most of us have in our homes, be they fridge/freezer combos or chest freezers, cool to about the -20C mark to keep your stuff frozen. While it is considerably colder than -20C at the worst of most 'deep freeze' weather events, -20C is definitely the cut-off between tolerable and unbearable for a lot of people, so they start calling it a deep freeze when the daily high temperatures fail to reach -20C.
The good news is that this cold weather is supposed to break between tomorrow and Saturday. The other good news is that we finally got enough snow to x-country ski when this crap blew in. The weekend forecast is for highs around -10C, and most of the ski trails around here should be tracked and set by then. I am looking forward to a weekend of x-country bliss, and probably at least one day in the boreal forest of Northern Saskatchewan. It should be an AWESOME weekend!
Locally, the 'deep freeze' is actually a term commonly used to describe the type of weather we are currently having. The freezers that most of us have in our homes, be they fridge/freezer combos or chest freezers, cool to about the -20C mark to keep your stuff frozen. While it is considerably colder than -20C at the worst of most 'deep freeze' weather events, -20C is definitely the cut-off between tolerable and unbearable for a lot of people, so they start calling it a deep freeze when the daily high temperatures fail to reach -20C.
The good news is that this cold weather is supposed to break between tomorrow and Saturday. The other good news is that we finally got enough snow to x-country ski when this crap blew in. The weekend forecast is for highs around -10C, and most of the ski trails around here should be tracked and set by then. I am looking forward to a weekend of x-country bliss, and probably at least one day in the boreal forest of Northern Saskatchewan. It should be an AWESOME weekend!
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